Currently Listening The Rising Tied By Fort Minor see related

*my true love mike shinoda!!!! i love you

"You know me, I used to get caught up in everyday life
Tried to make it through my day so i could sleep at night
Tried to figure out my way through the maze
Of rights and wrongs, but like you used to say
Nothing feels like it's really worth it
Forget perfect, i'm trying not to be worthless
Since i last saw you i been lookin for a purpose
Well i met this kid who thought like i did
He had a weird way of lookin at it
This is what he said

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

I dont remember where i met him or remember his name
But he walked funny like he was too big for his frame
Just over five foot but he weighed a buck fifty
And what he said just seemed so right it stuck with me
Listen its like poker you can play your best
But you got to know when to fold your cards and take a rest
And know when to hold your cards and hold your breath
And hope that nobody else is stacking the deck because
I dont need to tell you that life isnt fair, it doesnt care
It arbitrarily cuts off your air, and like you i want someone to say its okay
But in the truest parts of our hearts everybody's afraid
But just underappreciated and overwhelmed
Fighting so hard to hide our fear that were scaring ourselves
You understand when im saying that you always did
But its different in the words of a cowardly kid

Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared
Slip out the back before they know you were there
And at the worst you'll see nobody cares
Cos you dont wana be around when it all goes down
Even heroes know when to be scared

Im no hero, you remember how i was, you know
All i ever did was worry, feeling out of control
To the point where everything was going end over end
Im spinning around in circles again
This is where you come in
All of this to explain to you why
I had to separate myself away from yesterday's life
Please remember this isn't how i hoped it would be
But i had to protect you from me
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
I know you felt unprepared
But every single time i was around i just bring you down
And i could tell that it was time to be scared
Thats why i slipped out the back before you knew i was there
And i know the way i left wasnt fair
I didnt want to be around just to bring you down
Im not a hero but dont think i didnt care"

-Fort Minor....Mikey

*i'm a firecracker

and i think i might explode...or whatever!!!

Baby I remember
a time when we were so secure but
Now it’s like December
when you say that I’m so insecure and
I gotta get away
cause’ your making me weak
It’s keeping me trapped I gotta be a fool
sitting here tryna get that old thing back

You use to keep your word
was one who always did what you said
You use to speak to me so sweet
with something caring to say
Oh, you don’t even try no more
Oh, you don’t even care no more

I don’t wanna love you
don’t wanna need you
just wanna leave you

I just want it to be over

I just want it to be over

It’s like I hate to love ya
a charade we play time after time
It’s like ya love to see me
confused and a mess I’m losing my mind
I gotta get away
cause’ your making me weak
It’s keeping me trapped
I gotta be a fool
sitting here tryna get that old thing back...

-keyshia cole

I just want it to be over....gotta be strong

*I wish I was a freshman again

I can't believe four years have passed by so quickly. It's amazing: the things i know now, the things i experienced and saw....I never could have imagined any of it four years ago. In many ways i feel i've changed...i'm clearly not the same person I was sophomore year, pretty different from who I was freshman and clearly not the same girl i was in high school...I've been doing a lot of thinking of what i want to do with my life (which i probably should have been doing these past four years instead of being so busy driking bacardi ) and the first two things that came to my mind were: i want to be cute & rich (omg i'm shocked at myself for being that superficial) but then i started thinking about how to achieve that goal and i though: i want to be intelligent, classy, caring, affectionate, and overall happy. I want to have a family and get married and drive a 6

I feel like i'm finally getting my motivation....i know...its about fucking time!! (its okay some people need more time than others )

Everyone around me is doing amazing things and has amazing goals... seriously everyone! I can't think of one person who almost has no idea what they want to do (like myself)...

I know that this next year will give me all my answers...I just hope that I continue to keep my motivation to pursue the dream i have yet to dream....

**i also wish i kept up with my xanga so i could have perserved so many more memories....its not too late! last quarter of college...hope its the best yet!!!